How To Find That Perfect Self In College
We have four years in college; that is if you
can afford to stay in school that long and you’re able to get the classes you
need in time to actually finish in four years. Only four short years to grow as
a human being, be exposed to the world, meet your best friends, explore your
surroundings and convince your parents that it costs the same amount to live in
Paris for a semester as it does to stay at your university campus.
That’s right ladies, four years to find yourself before you get smacked in the face with the real
world where having cramps is no longer an excuse to skip out on your schedule
for the day, you’ll have something called a job after all. Every ‘true woman’
knows how vital it is to find that person within themselves that they are happy
to see in the mirror every day, that woman who has discovered herself through
life experiences and has garnered respect from the most important source;
herself. An American woman is nothing but the most blessed species in the
world, from careers and family life to controlling our futures and determining
our sexual identities, no other country in the world affords their women so
much opportunity.
So ladies, take a deep breath, the clock is
ticking, but honestly don’t be bummed if you don’t completely find yourself
after reading and following these 5 steps. I am three years out of school and
still trying to ‘figure it all out’. But hey, I love my job, I support myself
and have the most loving friends a chick could ask for, so I consider myself
pretty well along the way. At least far enough down the path to offer a few
snippets of advice anyway.
Step 1: Stop being so dang judgy. I know this is going
to sound like I stole some lines from Mean Girls, but come on girls, judgment
and cattiness is going to get you nowhere. I know. I have experience. Take the
story of when I met one of my very best friends in the whole wide world
Freshman year, I didn’t like her because I was threatened by her, but I told
everyone else it was because she was rude and after a boy I liked. Six months
later she was, and is, my best friend and I can honestly say that nothing
changed between us other than I started to learn to like myself and not be
threatened by other young women who were prettier or richer.
Step 2: Travel!!! As Americans we are preconditioned
to think that our way is thee only right way. I hate to break it to you, but
once you have traveled to another country and truly immersed yourself in
foreign cultures, you may just decide that the Italians really know what they
are talking about when it comes to work schedules, the French public transit
system is unparalleled, and shopping on a daily basis for fresh food in
rambling farmers’ markets is the Spanish’s best characteristic.
Trust me, sleeping in hostels with travelers
from all over the world and working to decipher conversations with hand motions
and your pocket translator is the best way to unlock that worldly diva that is
just dying to get out and go running with the bulls.
Step 3: Learn how to take care of yourself. Whether
you have a simple cold or you are starting to notice that your Econ lecture
slides are getting harder to read in your 500 person class, you need to learn
the basic rule of putting your physical health first. I have come into my office
too many times hacking like a banshee only to be sent home to bed to take care
of my pre-pneumonia lungs. Please, please, please learn how to make doctor’s
appointments for yourself, and to actually GO to them. Better yet, have a
basket of remedies on hand, stock up on NyQuil, Mucinex, Tums, and Neosporin,
these products will save you when the time of desperation comes.
Step 4: Open up. Finding yourself is a tough job, but
it can be so much easier when you seek out counseling. I’m not saying you
should run down to the campus psych department and spill your guts to whoever
will listen. I simply mean, learn that it is okay to have hard times in life,
and that if you cannot talk about issues you are having, experiences you don’t
understand our fears that your harbor, you will never learn to find yourself.
Find somebody that you can trust, whether it be a best friend, your mom (it is
amazing how much going away to college can bolster a mother/daughter
relationship) or a registered counselor, get things off your chest and free
your mind for real growth.
Step 5: If he likes it, he better not put a ring on it
until after you have graduated, found a career that you are passionate about,
have spent a few years supporting yourself and can verbalize your feelings
without feeling like ‘if I stand up for myself, he will leave me and I will be
alone forever’. What kind of real man wants a girl who has nothing to offer to
a lifelong relationship other than her tidy domestic skills and knack for
crafting the ultimate door wreath? What kind of real man wants a girl who spent
her college years prancing around campus looking for a husband rather than
holing up in the library devouring volumes by her favorite literary heroes?
What kind of real man wants to support a woman has demonstrated no real
passion, dreams or goals other than to nab him and run down the aisle.
A real woman needs a real man, and no decent man
would take baskets of baked goods at his fraternity house and the abandonment
of all personal life ambition over a real woman who has spent her limited four
years in college finding herself and learning what it means to have inner
respect and excitement for where she will go in life.
Pardon my ranting, but I hope that this gives
some insight into how to successfully navigate the next four crazy, exhilarating,
once-in-a-lifetime years.
Remember girls, the time is now to strike, keep
your eye on your future, stay focused and go find yourself!
Ciao
